Subway — Review by Daym Drops
Not specified, United States — Fast Food / Pizza
Daym Drops reviews two versions of Subway pizza and finds both disappointing overall. The regular bacon pizza is bland and rubbery, but the Uchi Walli Uchi Bang Bang version with pepperoni, meatball, and crushed Doritos redeems itself somewhat by adding the missing flavor. He reluctantly gives it a 2.5 out of 5 rating, refusing to go higher.
What was great: The Uchi Walli Uchi Bang Bang pizza with Doritos added provided better flavor; the Doritos helped mask the lack of seasoning in the pizza
What could improve: The regular bacon pizza had rubbery, flavorless bacon with no crisp or crunch; the cheese tasted like dollar store quality; overall pizza texture was soft like easy bake oven pizza with no flavor depth; the pepperoni was not detectable
The Dishes
The reviewer sampled two Subway pizza offerings. The first was a regular bacon personal pizza that arrived looking cheesy but ultimately disappointed. The bacon was rubbery and flavorless, with no crispy texture whatsoever. The cheese tasted artificial, reminiscent of dollar store quality, and there was no real flavor complexity despite claims of garlic being present. The pizza itself had the texture of easy bake oven pizza - soft, doughy, and lacking any satisfying crunch.
The second pizza, dubbed the Uchi Walli Uchi Bang Bang, featured pepperoni and meatball topped with crushed Doritos. This version showed significantly more promise. The Doritos addition provided the flavor that the base pizza was completely lacking. While the pepperoni remained undetectable, the meatball was present and the Doritos chips added a much-needed textural element and seasoning boost. The reviewer acknowledged this was a clever trick - essentially covering up a bad product with a flavorful topping.
The Experience
The reviewer references his history with Subway pizza, noting he had previously decided the chain did not meet his standards. His friend encouraged him to give Subway another chance, specifically requesting he try the Uchi Walli Uchi Bang Bang version. The friend's insistence that the reviewer had done Subway dirty in the past motivated this second review. The tone throughout is conversational and animated, with the reviewer expressing genuine frustration at being tricked into liking something he knows is fundamentally poor quality.
Value and Pricing
The reviewer paid $23 for the two pizzas sampled, which he considers overpriced given the quality of the product. This price point makes the subpar quality of the regular pizza even more disappointing.
Notable Moments
I'm mad that I liked it. That was a good move. I'm in my feelings, y'all.
The crazy part. The crazy part. My man help me with the pepperoni. I couldn't taste no pepperoni, but I did taste the meatball. And then the Doritos helped it out. Doritos helped it out with flavor that it was lacking.
Don't ever get the Subway pizza. And if you do have to get the Subway pizza, get yourself a Uchi Wy Subway pizza. Pepperoni, meatball, and hella Doritos will make it taste better.
The Verdict
Daym Drops refuses to give Subway pizza a three out of five rating, instead settling grudgingly on a 2.5. He is clearly frustrated by the fact that the Doritos hack makes the pizza more palatable, creating what he calls a love-hate relationship with the product. His final recommendation is blunt: avoid Subway pizza entirely, but if you must order it, request the Uchi Walli Uchi Bang Bang version with pepperoni, meatball, and crushed Doritos to make it taste better. This restaurant is definitively not recommended for anyone seeking quality pizza.